All Adults Here by Emma Straub

Three generations of family drama provides an enjoyable story.

Sep 05, 2020

All Adults Here by Emma Straub is a colorful book, full of colorful characters. Some you’ll love and some you will shake your head at. If you are a parent, you’ll be able to relate to Astrid as she reflects on her parenting, if you’ve ever seen the negative results of doing the right thing, you will be able to relate, and if you’ve ever just tried to make sense of the world and make decisions that you feel are best for you, you can relate.

But, beware, it was like reading a novel version of a 1990s TV show where all sorts of huge societal issues are addressed and solved in 30 minutes. A little unrealistic, but gives you all the feels. I wasn’t disappointed by the book in the least, as I’m a big fan of Full House and Family Ties. I just feel that there might have been too much packed into one story, and everything just seemed to work out too perfectly, well everything except the plot line that deals with adultery, but that is never going to work out well.

Homosexuality, adultery, single motherhood, teenage gender identify struggles, social media, and negative consequences for positive actions. Surprisingly, even with all these tough, controversial topics, the book was a light and easy read. I tend to not be drawn to those life altering, philosophical books so I found the lightness appeal, but I felt that there was a little lack of conflict. Thankfully, because of the style of writing, I didn’t have to think too hard, debate with myself about my own morals, or spend hours afterwards redefining the meaning of life. And at the end of it all the moral comes across - As parents, even with the best intentions in mind, we over think things, try too hard to control things, and ultimately make things more difficult than it needs to be. Even so, family is family and will also love each other.

There are points where you may wonder how the author feels about men, as there seems to be glaring character flaws in the handful that are active members of the plot. The female characters are presented with more strength, depth, and thoughtfulness.

“It seemed so easy, to cut out the creeps and sexual predators, just by cutting out all the men.”

I’ll just leave this quote right here, to allow you to ponder. I will say that usually when I read or listen to an audiobook, I try not to deal on specific quotes or try to over-analyze comments, statements, etc. I like to read and not debate over meanings, but this was an interesting quote from the book.

Emma Straub did an excellent job of developing a plethora of characters with clear and distinct personalities through differing points of view in each chapter. Characterization tends to be the first literary device I focus on in reading. If the characters are developed and meaningful, I struggle to connect to the story.

My favorite character was once again the 13 year old, Cecelia. She was sent to live with her grandmother in small town New York after an incident involving her best friend. Again, a controversial situation that ended with CiCi making the correct decision, but was the one who suffered the most. Teenagers can be brutal and this behavior by her peers caused them to try to protect their only child. Knowing this background on CiCi, I was happy that even though we never see this incident happen, the moral code CiCi must possess to do this is reinforced when she befriends a classmate.

The bulk of the story revolves around Astrid (CiCi’s grandmother) and her own adult children and the changing, evolving relationships that come with age. The idea of parents wondering if they were good enough parents raising their children, and the idea that children, even as adults, feel that there is something they need to prove to their parents. Astrid worries and stresses over her children and their choices throughout the book, as she focuses on her own choices and how the impact of her new love interest will impact her kids. What I enjoy about her new lover is that it is who brings balance between all the characters. The wisdom, the sounding board, the outsider who has limited bias.

“That was the problem with being part of a family: Everyone could mean well and it could still be a disaster. Love didn’t cure all, not in terms of missed communication and hurt feelings during an otherwise uneventful dinner conversation.”

Readers learn early in the book that Astrid’s husband passed away. The death and her life with her husband is a frequent source of Astrid's internal conversations and reflections on life, decisions, and who she is.

The majority of the book was pretty predictable in many ways, but the only plot line that I was slightly more engaged with was Astrid’s daughter, Porter. Porter decided that she doesn’t need a man to have a baby, so she got pregnant with the help of medical advances and is thrilled to be a mom. No issues there. Porter’s confidence in her decision is empowering and even though Astrid is a very ‘by the book, follow the rules’ person who has “iron tear ducts”, she begins to relax and take a step back is supportive in Porter’s decisions vs trying to control everything. The issue with Porter’s line is the affair she is having with her married high school boyfriend.

Adultery is one of those things that I just don't understand and never would. As reader, you feel a little sympathy for Porter because of the things that Jeremy tells her, but at the end of the day, how can anyone believe an ass that would cheat on his wife. As you progress through the book, you realize the notion of the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree is true even in fiction. Jeremy’s daughter is the class bully with her little posse of obnoxious followers. One Of the best scenes in the book revolves around CiCi and Sidney. Again, CiCi is my favorite character.

Well, Jeremy is a douche, his daughter is a bully, and at the very end of the book you finally meet his wife, Kristen. Hmmmm, she doesn’t seem to be a pleasant woman, but who would be when you know that your husband is having an affair, and one that has been going on for several years at that. Jeremy just completely disgusted me, so kudos to Straub for creating a character that made me engage and feel. Without powerful characters and legitimate conflict, there is no engaging story.

Finally, when it comes to characters, is the lovable August. Cecelia and August are immediate best friends as they both have secrets that could be very challenging to overcome in the teenage landscape. When August’s secret comes out, there is only mild negative reactions, from guess who? You got it Sidney. It made for feel-good reading, but it just wasn’t realistic to what teenagers face in today’s world. I wish it was this easy, but I’m glad that August’s parents embrace what is happening, because not all kids have that. I’m also glad that he has the support of CiCi, who stands up in defense of her friend.

The story covers three generations of family members who are all second guessing decisions and overcoming the regrets of past actions. It’s about finding out who you are, what you want in life, and chasing your own happiness. The characters express those ideas that we do in our everyday life, even if their experiences are different from ours.

Where is this book on my bookshelf? Middle shelf. Again, another book, I’m glad I read and would recommend it to others to read. However, I think there was too much forced into one book and some of those plot lines are not necessarily sugar-coated, but are to a certain degree glazed over. August, Astrid, Cecelia, Porter, and Asrid’s oldest son, Elliot, all experience difficult decisions and consequences. Generations come together in one small town to find themselves, be honest with themselves and those they love, and determine that regrets from the past will only hinder their futures.

The Bookshelf

Discussion about this post