Waiting to Begin by Amanda Prowse

A story of courage and unconditional love, but yet so much more.

This was my first book by this author, and wow. I first met Mandy when she was a guest on our podcast, and I was immediately taken by her fierce passion for life and outgoing personality. I knew that I had missed out on not having read her books. I’m beyond thankful for my podcast co-host, who invited Mandy on as a guest. 

I decided to pick up Waiting to Begin. I loved the premise that life choices have long lasting consequences and impacts on our future selves. How true every moment and every sentence of this book was for me. It touched my heart so deeply. This wasn’t a thriller or a Sci-fi adventure or a romantic fantasy. It was an honest story of family, life, love, and second chances.

Changing timelines are one of my favorite story structures. Without that in this book, the story would be lost, the impact diminished and the power extinguished. Throughout the story, we experience two very specific moments in Bess’s life: August 20, 1984 when she turns 16 and August 20, 2021 when she turns 53. It is the events from 1984 that have followed her into 2021 where she finds herself on the edge of a precipice.

Your 16th birthday is supposed to be the best birthday ever, but the events of that day…ALL the events of that day changed the course of Bess’s life. So, that’s where I’m going to start. Sixteen year old Bess is like every other 16 year old I’ve met. And I’ve met a lot, like a lot a lot!  I work in a high school. I’ve basically been interacting with 16 year olds every day for the last 20 years.  There is a sense of idealistic thinking and dreaming. Everything is possible, but naivety that they don’t even know is there. There is nothing innately wrong with this, there is power in hopes and dreams. It’s one of the many things I love about youth.

Here’s the thing, teenagers, no matter how much they are loved and feel loved by their family, are scared at times and act impulsively. They make poor choices. Now, not everyone is impacted the way Bess is and not everyone carries secrets around with them for 36 years, but no matter your age, once those destructive thoughts and opinions and ideas begin to take hold and multiply in your heart and brain, the results on mental health can be catastrophic. 

Fast forward to 2021, Bess is married the mother of two children and in a downward spiral spurred on by a loss of self-worth, self-confidence and the weight and guilt of teenage secrets. I relate to this Bess in a different way. I know exactly how it feels to have a moment in life, an experience that impacts you so powerfully and negatively that you lose sight of who you are. It strips you of everything you thought was true and leaves you empty of self-value and love. This can happen when you are 16 or when you are 42. Age doesn’t matter. And the worst thing that someone can say is, “You just have to choose to be happy” or “Don’t let it get to you.”

Mental health takes many different shapes and impacts everyone differently. But I totally understand how Bess was so far down the rabbit hole, that no matter how much she “chooses to be happy” she literally, physically, mentally and emotionally can’t. It is out of her control. 

I get that this is supposed to be a book review and is more of a dissertation on mental health, but I think that is what sucked me into the story and the characters so much.

I had predicted the “twist” to the story earlier on, but you just have to go through the entirety of both days to get all the facts. While it at times was a slow burn, there is the building tension as you know that at some point Bess has come to the end of her figurative rope.

The side characters were effective. I love Bess’s family, and they were critical to the entire story. They are tied directly into Bess’s choices and decisions. From her parents to her brother. They are focal points in 1984 and 2021, so we are able to see how not only Bess has evolved in those 36 years, but how each family member has evolved.

Bess’s 16 year old friends and schoolmates and her adult husband are all impacted by her secret pain and influence Bess’s actions and reactions. They all represent their roles in the story perfectly. They know what to say and what to do to propel moments and build the tension.

The fact the majority of the story takes place literally over these two specific dates decades apart, nothing ever feels to be dragged out. It only takes a single moment or in this case a single day to change your life. 

Where does this book land on my bookshelf?

Top shelf. This book was beautifully written. It was written with love and passion. It made me laugh and shake my head and it made me cry. Again, part of my emotional connection is the relatability of it, not to the “twist” but to the concept. The pain and damaged self image. The struggles are real, but I loved the hope, the unconditional love, the forgiveness and the power that comes with opening up and being able to look at life through new lenses. That is what tugs at my heart. That is the essence of this story. I loved it with all my heart, and I love Amanda Prowse. I would literally fly to England to spend a weekend with her just to stay up late eating ice cream and talking about life. Please read something by her!  

If you want to hear for yourself what a sparkle of light Amanda Prowse is, go listen to the February 2021 episode of Speaking LITerally podcast. (It is available wherever you listen to podcasts).

Don’t forget to check out my other fun sites!

Brand New Website for book lovers: www.tinyurl.com/desertbookshelf It has links to my podcast Speaking LITerally, book reviews, breaking literary news, games, links to small business and more!

Speaking LITerally podcast! Our monthly misadventures into all things literary. Separated by the Atlantic, Liz and I come together in our love of reading!!! Find us wherever you listen to your other favorite podcasts! Click here to find us on iHeartRadio!

If you are really bored you can read about some of my personal adventures in life raising two teenagers and loving a husband who is fighting Chronic Myeloid Leukemia and all the lesson I learn along the way. Educate This.